One day you will come back to this moment of life of yours, browsing through the memory fountain and gazing upon the images and faces you once cherished so much. Why is it so hard? Nobody told me how difficult it would be to live simple life, oh but it never is as simple. Why do you keep waiting and doubting yourself when the whole world is full of fullness and richness, saturation and bright colors and so much to discover. Weren’t you the one who kept repeating that there is so much to do but so little time? And now all you do is sit and wait, tired of waiting and undetermined to move forward with a purpose. Yes, you think you lost the light from within, but the moment you get closer to the source you light up brighter than ever before. This time you stepped away too far from the source, but luckily it’s not as far as it seems. It may be hard to find it at first, but once you make a tiny extra attempt, you see it’s shape and feel its energy filling you from within for it has never left you, you just forgot how to see it.

Perspective. All is the matter of this single word. As long as you don’t emphasize these daily bugging issues that are simply draining and unnecessary you start noticing that happiness has never left you. Even during the most daunting and heavy day it is just so easy to draw a smile on your face with absolutely no effort. All you need is to look around, see the sun rays making their way through a thick pack of leaves and the bird singing away, little bunny sitting in the middle of the street thinking she is invisible to human’s eye… Look around. Just by thinking about the beauty and fascination of our very world that we fail miserably to discover, I am ready to tear up from admiration and stupidity of my own actions and of a waste of time. How much time is needed to come to these simple but fundamental realizations and how little is left to actually cherish those precious moments that never repeat again? How many times do I have to scream at a person and stop talking until I realize that it might have been the last time I ever saw them? The very point is that we all need this time, as long as it takes to pay the price and realize the true value. This is why it is so hard, yet so easy. Finding that fine line and staying on the edge of the balance like a light droplet that lands softly on the surface, almost invisible and light.

I write because writing was the only thing that cleared my thoughts and made me feel better. Every time I felt down, my diary was always there to carefully listen and absorb all the pain accumulated from within. The sheets listened as much as needed and thoughts became more structured and clear. I was able to think more objectively and rethink the behavior of my own and others. Writing is my savior. It is when I write I feel complete and feel alive. It is when I am in pain, I feel most alive and aware. It is when I am aware, I feel empowered.



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